Ana and ANA
by DaisyChain2109
Summary: My Fanfic based on Fifty shades and (kind of) Wintergirls. -What would happen if Ana had a secret. One she wouldn't even tell Christian about? one that was slowly destroying her? In the version Ana suffers with an eating disorder, she has done for years but that voice has just come back with a vengeance. Can she over come it with the help of her loving family or not? -may trigger
1. Chapter 1

**Authors**** notes: Hi guys so this is my first story could you please review it so i know if my writing is bad or not x**

**Yes I do have personal experience with the tough subjects involved in the story that's mainly where I got the data from x**

**I'm not pro ANYTHING-just reassuring you :)**

**thanks again **

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><p><strong><span>CHAPTER 1<span>**

I knew that if I waited long enough pretending to daydream Gail would leave the kitchen to start her daily routine.

I could hear the food splatter as it hit the bottom of the trash bag, and the bin closed with a bang.

Shit.

I wait a moment to see if Mrs Jones comes around the corner but she doesn't. I've been told off enough in the past for not eating enough and in the past week since Christian has been working non-stop Gail, Taylor, and Luke have all given me a little grief for either throwing away food or skipping meals. It's no biggy for me though; I'm used to my strange appetite.

I take another look around to see if there's anyone seen me and once I'm satisfied I put my plate on the side and walk out of the kitchen and over to where my purse and keys are left waiting for me to start my day. As I start rearranging my purse I look up to see Taylor and Luke sat on the far sofa. Oh dear. Luke with that horrible look of worry etched across his face and Taylor, who looks slightly pissed.

"Ready to go?" I ask cheerily trying to break the awkwardness. They both stand and walk over towards me. Wait, why isn't Taylor with Christian? "Where's..."

Taylor cuts me off abruptly "Work."

"Wait Ana, you can't go to work without this!" Gail walks over with a brown bag probably containing lunch. She's like a mother to me at the moment; it's nice because I really do miss my mom Carla.

"Thanks Gail you're a life saver. It's going to be such a busy day!" I do genuinely mean it. We give each other a quick hug before I make my way to the foyer. The elevator ride is the most awkward silence I can remember between us three, usually Luke and I would be laughing and making jokes about one another but not today, i assume they know what I did and want to say something. With Christian, Taylor uses the service elevator but-much to his discomfort-I think it's easier if we all use the same one. During the short walk to the SUV my left leg starts to hurt a feeling I remember from my youth but I ignore it, it's nothing i can't handle.

Before I know it we're safely in the car and driving through the Seattle streets. I look at the people outside all wrapped up in winter clothes; the weather has been so temperamental recently, that's one of the things I love about the winters here.

"Is Christian busy?" I ask. I don't care who answers they're both being idiots. _What cant they just stay out of my business anyway?!_

"Extremely." Taylor sounds like Ray when he's trying to be firm.

"That's why Taylor is here," Luke looks back at me. It seems he's changed his attitude and isn't as angry with me now "because he's going to be busy all day so he sent Taylor with me. But just between us, he regrets having to work this hard all week because he's been missing you like crazy."

Taylor gives Luke a firm look but I don't care, knowing that he is missing me brightens my whole day.

"So you've been talking to him then?" it's obvious, but I ask anyway.

"Yeah, he updates us on what we need to do and we update him on your day... Okay I get how stalker-ish that sounded but you know what I mean, Ana." Luke and I laugh at what he said, Luke snorting accidentally causing us to laugh harder.

"Yeah, and he's not impressed with some bit if we're honest, Ana. Especially the-"

"Are we going to have a problem Taylor?" I ask abruptly cutting him off-I knew what he was going to say anyway-effectively killing the mood.

"I don't know are we?" he shoots back giving me a stern look in the rear view mirror.

'_Who does he think he is' _the voice in my head says _'no one has the right to dictate to you because you know what you're doing is right! This isn't a problem you're proving that you're still strong. They'll all see when you're skinny and beautiful' _

"Stop the car." Taylor looks at me confused "Now!" I raise my voice slightly hoping to get my message across. Taylor pulls over and waits for me to move. "Thank you. It's only two blocks. I'll walk." Both men try to stop me but before I have a chance to hear what they're saying I've gotten out and slammed the door behind me.

It's freezing.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Authors note- Thank you to all the wonderful people who have followed/favourite/reviewed this story already! I honestly wasn't sure how it was going to go... feel free to leave feedback in the reviews or PM me if you'd like :)**_

_**Thanks again xXx**_

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 2<strong>

I know Taylor is ex-army and Luke always won at sports day but I'm pro at getting lost in a crowd of people and Wednesday in Central Seattle could probably be classed more like a mob, each person lost in their own little world.

Luckily Christian is busy; otherwise Taylor would be straight on the phone to him. GEH are trying to close a deal and its proving a challenging one. On a good day Christian would be leaving just as my alarm goes off and gets home way after I've fallen asleep. There was one occasion where he didn't leave the office all night '_but it makes it easier to skip meals so stop complaining'_. I know Luke and Gail tell him what I skip but I guess I don't care it's a small price to pay to be thin. '_Exactly! There's the Ana I know from those years ago!' _At least I know I can trust that voice in my head. She's never let me down.

I've had strange eating habits since I was about 9 and it wasn't until i was 16 that I was diagnosed with EDNOS (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified) I was 'underweight' at my lowest weight of 107lbs but I never lost my period so I was never classed as anorexic. I don't really know what triggered it this time but I have decided that I do not want to weigh more that 129.3lbs which I am now. When I look in the mirror, I can see the fat clinging all over my body despite people saying I look "bonier" lately. I won't tell Christian any of it because 1) he'd probably blow a casket and 2) he has issues enough with food.

I can see my office building that has 'Grey Independent Publishing's' on a sign along the top.

After I get into the building it's finally warm and I say a quick hello to some of my staff then rush over to Claire the receptionist and tell her to stall Taylor and Luke from coming upstairs. She gives me a knowing smile and I rush off to the elevators. _Should've taken the stairs. You need the exercise. _

Once I reach my floor Hannah is waiting with a day planner possibly telling me I have three consecutive meetings and then two billion files to go over.

"Morning Ana... are you okay?" she asks holing out my day planner to me.

"Fine Hannah it's just cold out there" I'm not fine. Im exhausted, I'm hungry, I haven't eaten for 48 hours and now I'm in a shit load of trouble too.

"Okay well there's a woman in your office who demanded to see you. She was really intimidating. She's in there now. Sorry I know I shouldn't have..." I stop her by holding up my hand a very Christian thing to do.

"Is it Mrs Lincoln?" I ask.

"No! No I would've called" she says hurriedly. Hannah and Claire know not to let that woman in the building and to call security.

I walk into my office and Kate is sat there with her feet on my desk.

"Feet. Off desk. Now." I wave her away with my hands and place my bag by my drawers as my plan on my desk. It's 9:25 I don't have a meeting for another hour.

"What's up with you, Moody?" Kate says, pouting.

"Noting I'm tired and busy, Kate"

"Really because your next meeting not for an hour and I brought hot chocolate!" She pulls out two cups of hot chocolate from the cafe across the street.

"I love you!" I say and we both laugh

We spend the next hour and a bit talking about everything and nothing. Kate leaves and I rush off to my meeting-I can't be late.

Sitting in the meeting room my mind wanders and I realise I was so busy I didn't check my e-mail, my phone buzzes and it's a message from Kate.

_***lovely chat, shame we can't do it every morning! See you soon babe ox p.s you had two VERY angry looking gargoyles in your reception. They go by the names of Taylor and Sawyer haha xox***_

Oops. Forgot about them two. I continue with my meeting after another 45 minutes of debating who was going to have the newbie in there department, we call it quits and I go back to my office completely drained. I grab the brown paper bag and throw it in the top drawer just in case someone goes in my bin and notices.

After 4 more hours of meetings. I throw in the towel. I go to my top drawer, pull and apple from the bag, grab a knife and cut it into quarters. I eat one quarter and put the rest back. Opening my emails I see I have one from Christian sent at 7 before my trouble, making it says;

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><p>From: Christian Grey<p>

Subject: Sleeping Beauty

Date: 23rd January 2014 7:15

To: Anastasia Grey

Morning Mrs Grey,

I did try to wake you to say goodbye this morning but you were in a very deep sleep. You must've been exhausted are you feeling okay?

Anyways, I'm off to yet another meeting. Have a good day and stay safe please.

Laters, baby!

X

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><p>He's too cute; I type a short reply back.<p>

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><p>From: Anastasia Grey<p>

Subject: Sleeping Lions

Date: 23rd January 2014

To: Christian Grey

You're right I was very tired! So in retrospect you should think yourself lucky you couldn't wake me or you might have lost a limb.

Are you home early tonight?

I miss you.

Let it be sooner rather than laters please, baby...

Your, Ana x

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><p>I hit send then put my head on the desk.<p>

After a while my phone rings startling me from my nap.

Shit.

"Anastasia Grey"

"Ana, Taylor says it's time to leave now" Claire whispers down the phone. I can tell she's trying to stifle a laugh.

"I can't I have tons to do." I whisper back, I don't know why.

"I told him that but he says that you need to go now."

I hang up the phone and my mood just changes. Who is he to tell me when I mast and mustn't leave work? Unless it's Christian telling him I have to be home? I check my emails. Nothing. Suddenly the elevator doors open and an angry looking Taylor walks straight past Hannah and makes a b-line for my office.

"Home. Now." He states mimicking my irritated tone from earlier.

"I have all these to do" I say quietly not looking at him in case I get too annoyed at his tone.

"Ana you're not feeling great and we just want to look after you, besides Christian will be home shortly" he replies softly no longer looking angry.

Christian? Yes! I grab my keys and my bag and get ready to leave as I do I open my draw to make sure I had everything and I hear Taylor's sharp intake of breath-possibly an annoyed one-as my uneaten lunch comes into view. I pretend I don't notice anything and shut the drawer then lock it. The car ride home is just as awkward as is the trip up to our apartment, were staying here whilst some problems with the house are being fixed. I run in and there's my beautiful husband standing in the middle of the grey room, Master of the universe, I jump and his him a big hug and wrap my arms and legs around him. I hope I'm not crushing him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors notes-**_ Hi everyone thank you again for all the reviews/favourites/followers to this story. it's my first fanfiction and top be honest I'm not actually sure where I'm going to take this story... I write most of the chapter parts on my phone at 3am when I can't sleep. Just want to say again I'm _**NOT**_ pro anything and although some issues mentioned may not be entirely acurate due to Google, most of it is from personal experience so I'm trying my best :) _**MANY THANKS AGAIN!**

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><p><span><strong>CHAPTER 3<strong>

"Hi, baby," he whispers in my ear. I've got my arms wrapped around his neck so tight and I never want to let him go. "What's wrong?" Christian asks. It sounds like a question directed at all of us, as Luke and Taylor are still in the entrance to the Great Room. There's silence for a moment and then I feel Christian push away "debrief in 10." He says coolly, Taylor and Luke go off towards his office and Christian and I walk hand in hand to the kitchen where Gail is cooking something that smells heavenly _Awful! _There is two glasses of wine already on the table and I take one and sip _Pinot Grigio = 122, 1 quarter of an apple=12=__**134 calories. **_My stomach rumbles at the thought and I laugh it off nervously.

"Hungry Mrs Grey?"

"No," I lie "My stomach is just welcoming the wine. It has been a long day" I smile at him. For a second he almost looks like he's going to say something serious but then he stops

"I'll be back in a bit for dinner let me just go and see what Taylor and Sawyer have to say." he kisses me lightly on the cheek then stalks towards his office. I let out a big sigh.

"Ana, why didn't you eat your lunch? Or breakfast? Or any of the meals you have been given since Friday evening?" Gail is trying to be quiet but her face is full of concern. _Great, more people who notice! What happened to the girl who could hide anything? _

"Sorry Gail I know you put a lot of effort and pride into those meals-"

"Dear, it's not that i just want to make sure you're looking after yourself and staying healthy that's all."

"I'm fine Gail," I give her my most convincing smile "buuut, I am going to go and have a bath because it's been a long day" she gives me a small smile and I walk off to the bedroom

**Christians POV.**

"It was only two blocks gentleman, she is allowed fresh air." I say, humor evident in my voice. Taylor and Sawyer are telling me of Ana's antics today and all I could do was laugh

"Yes, Sir but she has been so agitated lately and It's concerning us." Well, Sawyer does know Ana better than the rest of the staff with Taylor a close second. "Sir there is also another issue I would like to address with you about Miss Steele." Taylor shoots look and unsure gaze as if he's thinking this isn't a good idea.

"What?" I ask. Now im intrigued. At that moment there's a familiar knock on the door. Ana.

"'scuse me Luke, can you come and help with a box in the cupboard? I need it for the bath but I can't reach it." Box? What box?

"Luke it's fine go and help her." I say. As look walks off I look to Taylor. "What was he about to tell me, T?"

"I don't know, Sir...may I?" he motions to the door and I nod he has been away from Gail as much as I have been away from Ana so it's only fair that he gets to spend time with her whilst we are here. I must remember to ask Sawyer what he was going to say but until then I will just finish off some work.

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><p><strong>Ana's POV.<strong>

I can hear luck about to tell Christian. I know what he is about to say and no doubt Taylor will join in too!

I knock then poke my head around the door, I spill some lies about a box and before I even have time to think of my next steps in the plan Luke is coming to help. After he is my side of the door I shut it quietly.

"Can you not do that please!" I say firmly taking Luke aback

"What?" he challenges

"Whatever you were about to tell him about my lunch."

"How did you know that's what-"

"You were going to say? Because everyone seems so interested about what I eat, I dont care how 'concerned' you are what I eat is my business and before you give me the mouthful about just wanting to make sure I'm okay, I'm fine so drop the subject and please for both of our sakes dont bring it up again!" I can feel myself getting really wound up with him and I realise that he is pretty much backed against a wall whilst im standing pointing at him looking like the crazy bitch from hell. Just then the door opens and I count my blessings-well, half of them- that it is only Taylor that has walked out. He looks the situation over but thinks better of saying anything. I step back you let Luke go and he shuffles over to where Taylor is stood looking at me with slight amusement but I can tell he isn't really amused. I don't care. I turn on my heel and walk to the bathroom.

Who is he to get in my business, okay so I'm not proud of what I'm doing but its necessary , you know? As soon as I get down to a nice weight that I'm comfortable with everything will go back to normal. Until then I just need to loose the weight but hide it, I'm sure as hell Christian would freak. Kate knows, but then, what doesn't Kate know about me.

I start running the water to my bath and I add the jasmine scented oil to the water. My favourite!

As soon as I've stripped down and gotten in the bath, it's as though all my stress from my life just evaporates. I watch as the water flows over my thighs when I sit down, shielding them with bubbles from my scrutinising eyes. The water comes right up to just over my chest, lucky for me because now I don't have to stare at my imperfections magnified in front of me. Except my arms. Talk about bingo wings! The steam is making me slightly nauseous and I think I need a drink I've only had a hot chocolate today and that had no sweeteners in so my blood sugar must be low, I'll grab a low-cal shake from the fridge when I get out.

After 30 minutes of luxury, I remember I have to go and face dinner. Clambering out of the tub I wrap a white fluffy towel around me then around my head. After combing my hair drying it then putting on one of Christians shirts and some shorts I decide it's time to go.

The smell coming from the kitchen is so appetising I have to rest is the urge to run in and stuff my face with everything I can see. Christian is sat, hair damp, in sweatpants and a t-shirt Mia got him for Christmas, he looks up when I walk in and pats the stool beside him.

"Mrs Grey." Christian purrs in my ear

"Thank you" I hope on the stool and stare at the pattern type thing in the granite Worktop.

"Earth to Anastasia, come in, Ana" Christian laughs and I strain to smile I'm just adding in my head, I have no idea what Gail has put in this.

"Sorry," I say "Just thinking of all the manuscripts I have to go over tomorrow."

"Yes, Taylor said he pulled you away early because you weren't feeling to good, what's wrong?" Christian says the last bit like a broken record

"Luke and Taylor have been overprotective lately, I don't quite know why myself, but-" I try to divert the conversation but there is no getting past my fifty.

"Ana. I mean it. What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" I lie. He takes his hand and puts his finger under my chin making me look him straight in the eye. "I'm just incredibly tired and stressed and I really miss you, okay? That's all. Well, perhaps I feel a cold coming too but mainly the other two!"  
>I use my cute childlike voice on the last bit because I know that will win him over.<p>

"Don't lie to me, baby." Or maybe it won't. Oops.

"I'm not lying to you!" More lies my subconscious sneers. Oh! Hello where are you when I need some sane guidance?

"Whatever." He sounds exasperated. With me? Fine, be like that and pout like a child.

Before I know it Gail is putting out plates in front of us holding the best damn meal I think I've ever seen. Ever! An just as I'm about to tuck in... Hey! Do you know how much starchy fat it in that pasta? And that creme sauce, does that look healthy to you? No! It looks like obesity on a plate! Grab a shake and go to bed, Fatass! Great just what I needed then. I can feel Gail watching me but I ignore her, I'm to busy resisting the urge to cry. Sometimes that voice can be so harsh.

During the 14 minutes that have passed no ones spoken a word and all I've done is push the food around my plate and then;  
>"Are you going to continue playing with it or are you actually going to eat it?" Christians tone startles me but I'm not in any mood to listen to him.<p>

"I'm not hungry." I say quietly.

"Eat it, Ana"

Yes "No"

"For fuck sake, Anastasia. Eat the food that is on your plate!"

"Don't shout at me like that! I'm not one of your fucking subs, Christian, I'm your wife! You can force me to do anything!" Oh fuck me, did I just say that? Shit. I push back from the table, and after catching a quick glimpse at Mrs Jones's shocked expression, I speed walk towards the stairs, evading what I believe is Christians grasp, I make my way past one door, then another before I get to the one I want. If I remember rightly the key should be in the keyhole on the other side of the door. Check! I shut the door behind me and lock it tight and after my senses have adapted to the citrus smell, I lie on the red sheets letting the feeling of fatigue wash over me. What have I done? Oh god I've made a mess of all this yet again, well done me. I knew this would happen it did before when I did this, I started pushing people away, secluding myself to protect them from what I was doing. This is no good! When I don't eat my mood dips it effect the chemicals in my brain as with everyone.

-You have gone longer than this without food, Ana and you are thinking about backing out now? You are in far too deep! Just remember the way it works, you only eat when you really need to its only been 60-ish hours since you last ate. Don't quit. Don't be weak.

The voice in my head I have come to rely on, I call Ana. When I was younger that's what I used to see all the people refer to it as on those Pre-Ana/Mia websites. I set myself a target to get to tomorrow lunch time and then I will eat something but I'll make sure I have something that will boost my metabolism first, I don't want to be gaining everything I've lost in the last few days.

Before I know it I can feel myself drifting off to sleep and I no longer have the energy to fight it.


	4. Chapter 4

_AN-Hi you lovely lovely lot, sorry for the non-updating, I didn't have internet connection where I was._

_I've gone back and corrected most of the spelling errors I was _**horrified**_ to discover (might have missed some)_

_so, In case you hadn't guessed I'm not American so I apologize if I get any terminology wrong._

_okay I hope you like chapter 4, please leave me some feedback because I love knowing what you think xoxo  
>_<em>

**Chapter 4.**

That's the fifth time I've knocked on this door. Fuck. "Ana, open this damned door now!" I yell. No reply. "Don't ignore me, Ana!" Nothing.

"Sir I think-"

"Oh you think? You think maybe you can tell me what the fuck is going on?" I cut Sawyer off. Okay, Christian calm down.

"I think what Sawyer wants to say," Taylor jumps in "is that maybe you need to give her time to cool off?"

"Not really,-" Sawyer mutters under his breath

"I didn't ask you!" Taylor snaps at Sawyer and before I know it Luke is walking away down the hallway. What the fuck just happened?

"Sir, give her tonight to cool off, I'll stay with her tomorrow and I'll make sure she is okay. You take Ryan again, he really stepped up today."

"That he did, T... Okay you stay with her tomorrow and can you please make sure she eats, even if you have to hold her down. I'm not happy she hasn't had dinner but I'm going to let it slide because I don't think she is feeling too well." I say as we walk towards the Living room "and I was joking about holding her down." I give Taylor a stern look and he chuckles.

"Yes Sir. Maybe getting the family over for dinner tomorrow night might be a good idea?"

"Yeah, maybe... Well, T thank you for today go and enjoy your evening and I'll see you in the morning" Taylor nods at me and stalks away to his quarters. I do the same but as I pass the 'red room' where Ana is I put my hand on the door and close my eyes. "Ana, I'm sorry I shouldn't have shouted you're right you're not a sub, you're my loving wife and should be treated as such. I just want you healthy and happy baby, please Ana..." Still nothing. "G'night baby." I slink back to our bedroom. _Screwed up this time, Grey. _Shut it! I get into bed after removing the sweatpants and t-shirt and slip into the cool sheets.

**Taylor's POV/ Luke's history.**

Shit. Shit. Shit. My mind is running in circles what is Ana playing at? Not eating breakfast, barely any lunch and now no dinner. Was her rage just an excuse? I walk past Gail and my room and head for Luke's. No one in there, so I turn and head to the office where I find an angry looking Luke staring at the monitors. As I walk over I notice it's the one staring at the playroom door.

"She's not coming out, Sawyer. She's sleeping." Luke grunts a reply

"T, what the fuck is she playing at?"

"I don't know." I say honestly, because I don't. Luke stands up and starts pacing around the desk making me slightly dizzy.

"I checked her medical records there is no previous notes of any eating disorder struggles or anything." Luke looks a mix between really pissed and really concerned.

"Sawyer, don't be ridiculous. Ana is a very down to earth young lady. She would never-"

"I know one when I see one, Jason!" Luke raises his voice slightly and it grips me.

"Oh yeah, how?" I retort. Let's just get this over with.

"Because my sister had one for 10 fucking years, T. That's how. The skipping meals, the anger and irritability, the excuses made about eating and exercising. Why do you think she really got out to walk today? For the freezing fresh air? No to burn calories."

"And let's just say this was true, you plan on waltzing up to the boss and telling him his wife has an eating disorder an none of us had the balls to tell him as soon as we realized something was up?!"

"Well, no," Luke admits "but I would've come up with a plan to get her better!"

"And how did your sister recover?" I ask. Not sure I want to know the answer. Luke pauses a second.

"She didn't," he replies and turns a away to the wall or windows "she became a broken little girl who I barely recognized, she had this terrifying gaunt look in her face and pretty much every bone in her body was visible. She had to eat through a tube. A tube I'm pretty sure she used to purge out of. She lost so much weight. She died at the age of 26. It was horrifying, Jason, and now it's happening all over again and she will expect us to just sit back and watch whilst she slowly kills herself. " Luke stops I can tell he is getting upset. I walk over and put my hand on his shoulder. When he looks at me there are tears in his eyes.

"I promise you," a voice from the door speaks. "I promise you it won't get like that again, Luke." It's Gail. Our talking must have caught her attention. "Ana is strong, when we had that heart to heart before the honeymoon she mentioned something about past 'disordered eating' as she called it, she was adamant it wasn't an eating disorder," I see Luke's face grimace "and she had counselling so that's something. Trust me Luke, she told me she hated how even that affected her life. I seriously doubt that she would go down that kind of route again." She sounds so convincing and watching her comfort Luke with her soft voice, kind of soothes the fire in me that I didn't quite realize was burning. Luke relaxes a little listening to the last part but I can tell he is still skeptical.

"Thanks Gail, I guess I better be going to bed." Sawyer shoots a look my way and I nod curtly as if dismissing him, he nod back and gives Gail and smile and a quick hug, she's like a mother to everyone around here it's an adoring trait of hers. Luke heads straight to the door and leaves without a second glance.

"Really believe anything you just said?" I challenge her.

"Of course, Jason! I wouldn't have said it otherwise. Ana is a headstrong, stubborn, lovable young lady and I'm certain she is not stupid enough to be damaging herself like this." I know I bluffed to Ana today about telling Christian about the lack of eating and saying he wasn't happy about it so hopefully that's enough to drum into Ana's head exactly what Luke's opinion is, that it's not going to be acceptable.

"Okay, okay." I walk over to her because I don't want her to raise her voice or be tense for that matter. "I think the best thing is to give her some space," I admit "she probably feels really smothered. I'm not condoning what she is doing, whether she is doing it or not, but I think we need to loosen up Sawyer is being paranoid." She nods at me as I wrap my arms around her and kiss her forehead. She looks up at me with her beautiful green eyes. I plant a kiss on her lips, a kiss that deepens. __**Just a quick footnote, should I right sex scenes? I didn't now if that would be acceptable or what?**_


	5. Chapter 5

**_AN- I hope this chapter is okay for you guys, I went back and changed some more mistakes I made. In this one Ana has known kate since high school and I don't know where I want to take Jamie's Character (based on a friend :'D ) but yeah so please let me know what you think about this chapter I always LOVE reading your reviews! xoxo_**

**Chapter 5.**

Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I look around and all I can see is darkness. The memory of the events of last night hit me like a freight train. Oops.

I get up slowly and find my feet then walk towards the door, take a deep breath then unlock and open it slowly. There's no noise coming from anywhere, it's deadly silent so I scurry down the hall and into the bedroom then shut the door behind me. When I turn around the first thing I notice is that the bed sheets look like a bomb site.

"Crap, he must have had a nightmare." A huge feeling of guilt washes over me. Shit I really screwed up this time. Then I realize I don't even know what the time is. When I get my phone from my purse, which I left in the bedroom last night before my bath, I'm relieved to see it's only 7:30am and that I have 2 hours before I need to be at work.

Once I've stepped out the shower and have dried my hair completely, I wrap myself into a fluffy white towel and walk into the closet. I really feel bad for Christian and I plan on making it up to him when I get home... Or better yet I could go to his office...but he's really busy and probably doesn't want to talk to me today... No I think I'll wait until tonight. Nonetheless, I go to my draws and grab my matching red and black Victoria Secret bra and panties with red stockings, and put them on the bed. There's one more thing I have to do before I can dress.

I walk over to the bathroom and from the vanity drawers pull out my blue digital scales setting them down on the cold tile floor, then, taking a deep breath, I stand on them and close my eyes. After a moment I open them and look down to see the damage. 126.8lbs. Agreeable I guess, considering I haven't eaten since sometime Monday and it's now Thursday. After I put the scales away and hide them with various toiletries I stand and look at myself in the mirror; I'm still covered in fat it's not as if those 2ish lbs made much of a difference.

Whilst rushing around in the bedroom, I stub my toe on about 4 different things but eventually manage to slip into my lingerie. I don't spend to long looking in the mirror because I know I'll hate what I see and probably change my mind about all of today and crawl back into bed and hide from the world. _You look like a sausage being squeezed out of its skin!_ No. I can't hide from the world I have to do this. 8:30am I'm doing okay I have an hour before I'm officially late, not that I like pushing my luck with time. I shuffle on my grey pencil skirt doing the zip up at the back and pulling my white blouse over my head; I like this one because it is a V-neck that looks professional but also flattering and I know Christian likes it, it has some ruffles in the middle between my breasts. Once I have put my hair up in a plaited chignon and applied some natural looking makeup, I grab a nude cardigan, my purse including my phone and keys and a pair of nude heels which to my surprise are higher than my other shoes but just as easy to walk in.

On the edge of the Great Room the nauseating smell of bacon fills my nostrils and I instantly feel my stomach churn. I can't puke. Or maybe I can it's a way to get out of eating it, but then I'll have to stay at home all day then they'll be more speculation I suppose. I dont want to have to face everyone today because of my outburst last night.

"Good Morning, Ana. How are you feeling?" Gail asks from the kitchen.

"Perfect, thank you except I have overslept and I really wanted to get into work early today to catch up on what I missed yesterday so I'm going to have to dash quickly do you know if Taylor and Sawyer are ready?" I try to act like I'm rushing myself from where I stand on the threshold of the room.

"We're here, Ana. Just finishing up." Luke says as I walk into the kitchen where I find him and Taylor eating some bacon and egg sandwiches. All three of them look up when I walk in and take in my appearance and they all look pretty shocked.

"Apologising for something?" Luke asks with a knowing grin on his face. Taylor elbows him in the side whilst Gail throws him a look as if to say _'Seriously'_

I chuckle before saying "Perhaps, as per usual." I scoff and Luke and Gail laugh but I don't get much reaction from Taylor but then again it is common knowledge that to this day he still remembers all the trouble I've caused with my disappearing acts or putting myself in danger.

"Ready to go?" I ask the men

"What about-"Gail Says

"It's fine Gail, I had the breakfast bar in the bath from yesterday. I'm pretty sure Taylor only saw the brownbag half full and the apple on it in my draw yesterday, how is he to know I didn't have one in my bag. They all give me the same look but I can't understand what it means so without further thought I turn in my high heels and walk towards the door not forgetting to pick up the brown bag containing lunch. I know I said to myself that I'd eat lunch but I've come this far and I'm doing so well so I may just miss it; one more day won't hurt. "Okay let's go, see you later, Gail" I wave at her as we walk out the door

"Taking the car or are you walking today?" Luke says once we're in the elevator.

"No the car will be perfect thank you." I smile at him as we exit the elevator and walk across the car park towards the SUV passing my R8 on the way.

* * *

><p><strong><span>Christians POV<span>**

I have been at work for hours and I still haven't heard anything from Ana, then again she wouldn't be at work yet so I type out an email to her

* * *

><p>From: Christian Grey<p>

Subject: Hi...

Date: 24th August 2014 8:45

To: Anastasia Grey

Morning Ana.

I really am sorry about last night, Baby I didn't mean to snap like that. I just worry, you know? Please have a good day and I'll see you later. x

All my love,

Christian.

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

* * *

><p>I have no idea how that's going to go down but hopefully not too bad. But whilst think about later I should probably call Grace and invite them all round for dinner. I press the button on my phone that dials Andrea.<p>

"Andrea, what time does it look like I'm getting out tonight?"

"4:30, Sir"

"Perfect. Keep it that way." I hang up after that and press the speed dial on my mobile that rings Grace. She picks up on the 4th ring.

"Christian, sweetheart, how are you?" she says.

"All good, Mom thanks just been really busy this week. How are you?"

"Good thank you had a 37 call outs this week already but I have up until tomorrow lunchtime off, how is Ana?"

"I'm glad to hear that, Mom because I was wondering if you wanted to come to Escala tonight for Dinner. But could you ring and invite Elliott and Kate because I'm up to my eyes in paperwork?"

"Sure thing, Honey. And Ana?" she asks, obviously noticing my lack of comment

"Well to be honest, I don't think she is feeling too well she hasn't had much of an appetite and she's been... irritable is search of a better word, Mom."

"Oh well then tonight should cheer her up, we will bring Elliott, Kate and Mia over with us so we all get there at the same time, say 5:30?" My email pings and it distracts me.

"Sounds great. I'll see you later." I hang up. Since Ana has been around I feel like I'm closer with my family although I still haven't gotten used to the 'love you' stuff at the end of the conversation-that's only with Ana. Speaking of which I read her email.

* * *

><p>From: Anastasia Grey<p>

Subject: Hi yourself

Date: 24th August 2014 8:59

To: Christian Grey

Christian...

I'm the one that should be sorry, I overreacted however you do worry too much sometimes but it just one, in a long list, of things I love about you.

I'll see you later and by the way, I have a surprise for you when you get home.

I love you!

Yours always,

Ana

Editor, Greys Publishing.

* * *

><p>I smile at her response because it warms my heart so much and now I'm curious about this surprise, but it's not as good as my dinner surprise I should probably tell her about that but not right now because my 9 o'clock is probably outside.<p>

* * *

><p><strong><span>Ana's POV<span>**

The day has passed in a blur and I have been so busy even if I wanted to I haven't had time to eat at 11:30 Taylor and Sawyer came into my office with a sandwich each and we've been sat making idle conversation since. When midday comes I finally slow down because I don't want to be too tired before tonight. Then suddenly our conversation about suits is interrupted by Hannah who I thought was on her lunch break as she announces that there is someone at the desk who is here to see me

"Oh okay, can they wait I'm on my lunch break?"

"He said to tell you his name is Jamie... James Donolan?" she whispers the last part into the phone. I can't see him from where I'm sat and I'm not sure I really want to. I haven't spoken to him or of him since my first year at college although I remember Kate persuading me to invite him to the wedding as a sign of good will. I never thought I'd see him again let alone him coming to my office.

"Give me a minute." I tell Hannah down the phone whilst Taylor and Sawyer look at me like im speaking in a language unknown to any man. I clean my desk of any documentation because he loves to know everybody's business and then send a super quick text to Kate and our good friend Danielle, who I've barely had any contact with since the wedding.

***_Emergency! Jammy Dodger my office what to do get back to me quick*_**

Calling him Jammy Dodger is one of the biggest inside jokes that me and Kate have together, we've known him since 9th grade and our group of friends; being gullible freshmans, fell for his man-whore tendencies. He is one of the few men in my past that I have ever had feelings for, and way back then he played our group like a symphony, especially myself.

I press the button on my reliever and close my eyes.

"Send him in please, Hannah" I say and sit back in my desk trying to look as composed as possible. I shoot a glance at Taylor and Sawyer who are looking between me and the closed door clearly confused about my fuss of my desk and phone. Within a minute, the man I dread seeing comes walks in closing the door behind him. If I hadn't have known his name I would've known it was him because he instantly pins me with his piercing blue eyes. For a while we just look at each other, my hands knot in my lap under the desk where he can't see however I can see all of him and he looks so calm and collected and that annoys me. Internally I give myself a kick up the backside and decide that the ball is in his court for the moment. I got to speak but he stops me, cutting me off

"Ms Steele." He nods at me a strange smile playing on his lips. All I can do it stare at him, he doesn't look any different to be honest; he's definitely taller and in the suit he is wearing you can tell he's been working out but I feel nothing I'd rather be thinking about my fifty and what we are going to be doing tonight. James cocks an eyebrow at me and I realise it must seem like in staring at him

"It's actually Grey now Mr Donolan" I say coolly as i stand and round my desk. I regret it instantly forgetting what I'm wearing, knowing that my pencil skirt is hugging all my curves _even the gross fat ones!_ And my blouse accentuates my breasts. James's eyes move up and down my body taking in my appearance and his eyes darken which sends an unnerving shiver down my spine.

"Of course it is. But let's not dwell on formalities, Ana how are you?" He asks looking me in the eye and taking a step forward; we are still far enough apart that no alarm bells are ringing but Taylor coughs from the side of the room and both him and Luke have put their sandwiches down in case they have to jump this stranger.

"Perfect thanks Jamie. Meet Taylor and Sawyer." Jamie nods at them curtly then turns back to me but I'm already walking back behind the safety of my desk when this time I hear Luke cough, I'm guessing Jamie was enjoying the view a little too much.

"You look good Anastasia; married life seems to be treating you well." _He's lying you're a fat cow!_

"That it is James," I say pretending to type on my computer "and what is it, pray tell, that I can do for you." He goes to open his mouth probably with a smart or crude remark but I hold up my hand "and before you respond please bear in mind that these men work for both me _and_ Christian and will not hesitate to show you the door if necessary." His face drops and whatever he was going to say he thinks against it

"can't I just stop by to see how you are, I heard you were working here and although I didn't go to the wedding I thought that the fact you invited me was very nice and I was wondering if you would like to go to lunch sometime, I know you and Kate are still close as well as Danni, you guys were like the three musketeers and I would like to clear the air with all of you because I'm...it's not fair how I treated all of you, although it takes two to tango," he raises his eyebrow as if aiming that one at me, "I was in the wrong for what I did and I want to be friends." His confession shocks me because Jaime never says he is sorry.

"Mr Donolan, I can assure there are no hard feelings from any of us but I'm afraid I will not be joining you for lunch." I can't! Christian gets jealous over normal guys being my friend, how am I meant to say that my ex- whatever he is, not boyfriend, but ex something wants to take us out for lunch to clear the air and wiggle his way back into all our live. No way can I have that conversation.

"Why not?" his stance becomes more defensive and it all comes flooding back; way back then I wouldn't have picked up on it but now, knowing Christian's 'extra-curricular activities' I realize that him and Jamie aren't all that different in the way of control but that's just speculation, I'll ask Kate to use her journalism skills on it.

"Because I don't think it would be appropriate, Mr Dono-"

"Stop with the Mr Donolan crap, Ana listen to what I'm saying, I'm telling you I'm sorry." I sigh in defeat.

"Okay Jamie I'm accepting your apology, now what, what difference does that make? If you don't mind I have a meeting after lunch and I would like to get my notes finished before hand. Feel free to e-mail me or whatever and I'm always here if you need someone to talk to but I'm not going to lunch with you in the foreseeable future, maybe you should go and work your magic with Kate and Danielle but right now I have too much on my plate." It's now his time to sigh.

"You're kicking me out?" I nod and gesture to the door "fine, Ana but lunch isn't off the table we are just taking a rain check." I nod again and get up and go to shake his hand but instead we end up hugging, only briefly, but it's still long enough for me to remember not the bad times but all the good time we've had all the trouble we used to cause on field trips at school playing tricks on each other or playing man-hunt in museums. When we break away he pates me on my shoulder then turns on his heel and strolls leisurely out the door as i turn to my desk I hear

"Ana! By the way whatever you did I'm damn sure that apology is going to work!" I turn and flip him off before he leaves chuckling to himself. Once settled back in my seat I continue typing up my notes

"He's and old friend. Nothing more so stop gawking at me like I've just grown three heads and go back to eating your lunch." I say to Sawyer more than Taylor because he looks the most shocked. I finish up my notes and get ready to go to the printer across my office.

"Speaking of lunch..." Luke starts

"no time, Luke, Gotta run sorry" I shrug at him hen rush off to my next meeting, this should bring me up to home time then I get to go home and surprise my man.


	6. Chapter 6

_**AN/ So sorry for the delay guys but the good news is as of Tuesday I will be a teaching assistant at my old school. I only left last year so I know everyone! and also I get to see a teacher who is like a mother to me and we may get to work together, it does however mean that updates will not be as quick as they once were but they will (hopefully) be quicker than this one!**_

**_I DO NOT OWN FIFTY SHADES OF GREY OR THE MAIN CHARACTERS, THEY BELONG TO E.L JAMES._**

**_STORYLINE IS MINE (SOME OF THE NEWER CHARACTERS ARE TOO.)_**

* * *

><p>Chapter 6.<p>

I'm so antsy when I step out of the SUV, Luke's brooding about something but I don't have time to ask because I need to get ready before Christian gets home. It's 4:05 we made record time back to Escala but the elevator ride seems to take forever. As soon as the doors open I make my way across the foyer but before I can reach the door my heel slides on the floor and I must have looked like Bambi on ice, however before I hit the ground I have a hand on both my arms hauling me to my feet.

"See Taylor this is why this elevator is better than the other one." I say laughing; they both chuckle and shake their heads. I continue through the doors and head straight for the stairs.

The bedroom looks like it's been cleaned, new crisp sheets on the bed, bed made perfectly and the floor has been vacuumed. I walking into the closet in search for the tie I love, when I can't find it after10 minutes I give up and then walk to the Red Room to get the other things I need. Most of our things are still in there anything we wanted to take with us; Christian insisted we bought a new one.

I know I said to Christian last night that I'm not one of his subs but I want to prove to him that despite that I'm still his, entirely. I unlock the door and head straight for the drawers I grab the box I'm looking for-I knew I forgot it for a reason-and make my way out, locking the door behind me. Once back in the bedroom I lay the box in the center of the bed and take off my cardigan. I'll ask Christian where the tie is when he gets in here and hopefully he catches my drift... I spend some time in the bathroom reapplying a bit of makeup and looking in the mirror ew. Don't go there Ana. I spray some perfume then walk back into the bedroom, within a minute I can here footsteps coming my way so I sit at the foot of the bed with my legs crossed. Just then, Christian walks in wearing his signature grey suit and...that tie!

"Ana guess who's coming..." He stops mid sentence and I try so hard to stifle my laugh at his expression.

"With any luck, Mr Grey, it's you" I say throwing him a cheeky smile and with that he shuts the door behind him with his foot. He strides over to me and lifts me up into his arms then kisses me with so much passion, I assume has been building all week, and I kiss him back just as feverishly, our hands skimming over each other, familiarizing ourselves once again. His hands wrap around my waist and guide us back to the edge of the bed.

"Turn around." He growls, I do as he says and face towards the bed. He takes the few pins from my plaited chignon and the plait falls down over my back and he gives it a tug so I fall back flush against him. "Mrs Grey, why do I get the feeling that was meant to happen?" I let out a giggle and Christian leans down and bites my earlobe which sends heat straight between my thighs. "What's that on the bed, baby?" Christian asks.

"Open it and find out." He doesn't move much, instead just leans past me bending me over slightly. When we are upright I turn in his arm whilst he looks at the box with amusement. Surprising me, he puts the box on the bed side cabinet and turns to face me once more, placing one hand around my neck he steps forward leaning me back onto the bed so I'm lying facing up at him.

"We'll save those for later, Baby" he says, with a salacious grin on his face.

"Whatever you say, Sir." I smile up at him quickly before crashing my lips to his try to get closer. I've missed him so much lately and it's so strange that even in this short amount of time I can't bare to be away from him for long periods of time. Once he starts kissing my neck the stress and hardships of the past week disappear and I find myself giving in to him.

"You are wearing too many clothes." He says, almost more to himself than to me. He makes quick work of my blouse and the zipper on the back of my skirt; these items quickly get discarded on the floor, joined shortly by my bra and panties and when we both share a look at the fact he left my stockings and heels on, we can't help but laugh. I rub my hands over his shoulders causing his jacket to slide down, he catches my drift and removes it and also undoing his trousers-they're not exactly faded jeans but I'll live. Suddenly he looks at me deep in my eyes and something shifts in the air between us and with a lingering kiss to my mouth, he's inside me. I quickly reach my hand up and into his hair and to my surprise he grabs my wrist, undoes his tie and before I know it my hands are bound above my head. "You know the rules, Ana. Don't move or you'll be over my knee."

"Promises, promises" I breathe a reply. My god he has hardly touched me and I'm so ready.

He's slow at first, but then finds his rhythm and really starts to move; it's so nice to feel close to him again and the sensation of him inside me joined by the feather light kisses he is scattering across my neck and chest, "Fuck, Christian!" I'm so close to the edge. We become all tongue and lips and his hands _ oh, his hands _ everywhere all at once, before my brain has time to register anything I can hear voices, no a single voice, female, it's Kate. **_what?_**

Clearly Christian has heard her to because he has stopped dead, I look up at him quizzically and he gives me a resigned look. **So he knows what's going on then?! **And before either of us can move the worst happens.

"Did we get invited round to starve to death waiting for...oh holy shit balls**..." **Kate swings the door open and appears in the doorway, she takes a second to asses what's going on and I can't help the look of horror that is probably written right across my face "What are you doing... I mean I know what you're... Oh gosh get a room! Well you are in one I suppose... ergh I'm scared for life! I can never un-see that. Just get ready and get your -preferably- clothed backsides downstairs!" she slams the door being her and it's all I can do to close my eyes and try to stop my blush from getting any more prominent.

"So that's who is coming." I say after a moment of silence between us within which he undoes the tie above my head.

"Yes for dinner, so come on, get dressed, you heard the woman." Christian says as he pulls out of me. Shit. I forgot I was going to have to have dinner and now I can't even say I need to go to my study because the family is here. Shit. Shit. Shit. I wince as I sit up and walk over to my clothes where they lie, unceremoniously, on the floor, but as I bend over to pick them up, I feel Christian's hand encircle my waist and make me stand up straight and I realize that I'm flush against him and I can feel his breathe on my neck, just below my ear. "Forgetting something, baby?" he asks as he bites my lobe, which sends electricity between my legs. His hand travels up my front all the way to my neck where he makes me tilt my head to the side so he has better accesses to my neck.

"hmm, no I can't say I am." My mind still thinking about what is yet to come, who else is here? What is for dinner? Can I handle it? Where's _ANA'S _voice when I need her? Christian pulls me from my reverie when his other hand comes from behind me holding the box from earlier.

After 10 minutes we are making our way downstairs, Christian's arm is wrapped around my waist which I'm glad about because the balls inside me are causing my legs to wobble; them, mixed with the fact that I was so close is torturous.

"Hey Bro, Hey Ana!" Elliot says from beside Kate, who looks absolutely grossed out as she stares at us from her seat on the couch, judging by Elliott's smile she has told them what she has just seen and my theory is proven when I look over to Grace and Carrick as they stand up to come and give us a hug whilst trying to hold back a smile.

"Hi, Sweetie" Grace says as she embraces me "how you feeling?"

"Fine, Thanks" I say quizzically the pleasantries continue and we all catch up after which Christian briefs his family on his new business ventures when Gail brings dinner over to the dining table where we are all sat.

"Gail please join us for dinner," Kate says and before Gail can politely decline Kate adds "no arguments, please?" Gail looks at me and I nod, gesturing to the seat next to me. Gail and Carrick sit at the head of the table; Elliot to Carrick's left Kate next to him, Christian to his right and me next to him. Luke and Taylor are sat at the coffee table across the room discussing business.

Everyone around me is talking and all I can do is sit and stare at the food on my plate. Kate kicks me under the table.

"hmm sorry?" I ask to everyone who is staring at me

"I asked how work was for you, Ana" Grace says, concern all through her sentence.

"Great thanks," I say quickly "and you" they all get into a conversation of her latest patient but I can't focus, there are too many thoughts. All of a sudden, something clicks in my brain and I'm starving not just starving but so hungry that I feel I could eat for the next 10 days. Before I know it I'm stuffing my face with Gail's chicken casserole without even noticing what's going on around me. I finish before everyone including Elliott, much to everyone's surprise, but I'm at a loss of what to do with myself, I look up at Christian who is staring at me with an unknown expression and I give him a smile then focus on what Elliott is saying about our house.

* * *

><p><strong>Christian's POV<strong>

Just sitting here with my family has really made my night, it's been lovely but the main point of this has been to cheer Ana up, but all she has done is stare at her plate?

"So, Ana, how has work been for you?" Mom asks. We all look expectantly at Ana who just continues to stare at the food on her plate. Kate must have nudged her because her head bolts up and she looks to see who was talking. After Mom repeats herself Ana gives a curt reply then continues to look at her plate, I look at Gail who is staring at Ana and giving her a look full of concern but I don't quite know why.

Elliott is now in a full blown story about the house and how well everything is going but still needs work, I assure him I am happy for him to take as long as he needs because I trust him the make it perfect for us.

"Oh shoot." Comes a groan from beside me. We all look round and I catch a brown blur moving towards a door on the other side of the apartment that leads to the bathroom, I get p and follow Ana but she has locked the door and I can faintly hear her throwing up, stomach bug? Pregnant?! Oh no we are so not ready! I shake my head removing these thoughts as I make my way back to the table where I sit closer to Grace.

"I told you she isn't well, Mom" I whisper

"Don't worry, Darling, there is a virus going around at the moment she will be fine I'm sure." I send up a prayer that my Mom is right because something is not right with my wife. She looked gaunt earlier and during dinner she was so distant, I will get to the bottom of this!

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN THANK YOU, LOVLIES FOR READING xoxo -Sorry about that god awful sex scene, but please still review and tell me what I need to do to improve. next there's more time covered :) thanks again! x_**


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